Hello folks. I have a very short update on life for ya. So I went through another round of IVF embryo transfer and will be expecting the result tomorrow. I am very nervous, and although my family have been 100% supportive of “what will be will be”, it still makes me scared to find out. My insurance does not cover a single cent of this this time around, so it cost quite a hefty penny on top of all the hopes and fears of someone undergoing this ordeal normally. I have been trying to meditate and distract myself with happy things instead of all nerves like last time. So August was basically a giant wash when it came to creative work. Now it’s September, and I haven’t progressed much anywhere in my life. But I’m not going to think about it today.
I will probably write a longer entry tomorrow about things after I find out whether I’m successfully pregnant or not. No guarantee if I’ll have another miscarriage six weeks from now, but at least I’d have vaulted the first hurdle of at least been pregnant for a week.
I spent a good chunk of this morning calling insurance. Why? Well, it looks like my lifetime limited coverage of infertility issues have run out, so nowadays every single one of my visit with my doctor (and the subsequent ultrasound) would cost me 800+ dollars per. Yeah…. I’ve been trying to see if I can get it coded a bit differently, especially this time when I’m not actually doing an embryo transfer but just a biopsy. If it’s just billed as regular ob/gyn it would be covered. I’m not holding out much hope, though. It’ll be another few weeks before anything is final, so I’m not paying a cent right now. Even if it’s not covered I’m going to see if I can negotiate the bill down or something. Also, I’m going to ask my doctor to see what is the minimum number of visits I can do before an embryo transfer (this procedure has never been covered by any insurance so it’s about $2500 each time.) If I only have to come in once then at least I can minimize my cost so each cycle would roughly cost me $5000. Otherwise it seems very insane.
Before you go on rage about America’s utter lack of universal healthcare, I don’t think any country’s insurance covers infertility treatments. If you’re a woman who’s infertile then your option of getting a baby is basically get rich and pay up. Them’s the breaks, yeah? This is why we set aside a very significant amount of savings to try to do this. Also why I’m definitely going to be looking for a job later this year. Well, part of the reason, mostly it’s because my book is killing me yo! But that’s a topic for another time.
Anyways, spending a long time talking to insurance and billing is not a fun way to spend a morning. Add to that my derrière really hurts from the progesterone shots right now, I’m close to just giving up today on other work and just play the Sims haha. But I can’t, because that would be counterproductive to my goals. I might take a painkiller though. I wonder if Tylenol will even help.
I’m starting IVF again. Yep, more hormones, painful shots, expenses that insurance doesn’t cover, the whole nine yards. I’m doing a “mock cycle” right now, to prep for a biopsy on Monday. Basically they want to measure that the condition of the uterus is where it should be given the amount of medication I’m on. If it’s not, then they’d adjust the day when implantation happens. Maybe I just have super low hormones so the usual length or dose of medication is just not enough, so they’d wait for it go up longer before trying implantation. Or everything is the way it should be and I just can’t get pregnant easily, even if an embryo is implanted directly in the uterus. In that case it’s just a constant trial and error until I run out of embryos. Fun.
Either way, I’m expecting this whole thing to be over in the next year or two. By then I’d have exhausted all possibility and we’d have to look into adoption. It’s fine, just another huge money pit. But in the meantime let’s just stay hopeful, I guess. I personally am not optimistic, but the main thing this time is to stay calm. Being anxious 24/7 is not good for any pregnancy, let alone a difficult one. So I’m just going to try to stay as calm as I can while being all on kinds of artificial hormones. As of today I have started the painful progesterone shots again. Ugh, but a least this time it’s only for a few days until the biopsy, and I have some ways to try to deal with it. It’s going to be bad, but you know, eventually you get used to it. It’s kind of like how people keep asking someone who’ve survived a tragedy “how do you get through that?” You, uh, are kind of forced to by being alive still? I mean life doesn’t stop just because you’re in pain, so the only thing you can do is just do what you need to and know, at least in my case, that the pain will go away.
And Advil. Lots and lots of Advil. Until I’m actually pregnant, then it’s Tylenol. Modern pain meds are a marvel.