Okay, so. I talked about the book I read on coping with ADHD before and how effective it actually is in fundamental ways to help me navigate life. In one chapter the narrator said that sometimes an ADHD person get stuck on one, seemingly insignificant step in the process of tackling a large project, which could end up derailing progress for days, weeks, months. I think she used an example of someone putting away mail and got stuck on exactly where to put a postcard/birthday card because it required many steps to sort out. To a non-ADHD person it would seem like a non-issue; put that thing down somewhere else and move on to other things in the pile. But to ADHD folks they either just freeze completely or put it somewhere and never pick it up again and so the large project will never be completed either. I thought, huh, don’t think I’ve had that experience, and continued on.
Well, now I have just realized that I had a similar thing happen to me last night! (Definitely not the first time this thing happened to me just the first time I mentally acknowledged it’s currently happening.) So one of my big projects in July is to completely sort out my medical records and clean the dining table which is half-covered in all sorts of medical things due to IFV and multiple surgeries. (And after that‘s done is when I can actually tackle the humongous pile of junk/unsorted mail hidden beneath the coffee table but that’s another thing entirely.) I already have some medical things sorted in a folder in a cabinet, along with taxes, old work records, things like that. My plan was to sort out those old folders and then start putting the new stuff away. Well, let’s just say I’ve been not sorting out those old folders for months. Kept on putting them off, and because there’s seemingly no folders to put the new stuff in, I didn’t organize anything, and the pile on my dining table just kept getting bigger.
And so, in a sudden epiphany while having dinner last night, my brilliant brain came up with a conclusion of JUST GO BUY MORE FOLDERS! If I need folders to put the stuff in, but currently they’re all used up, obviously the solution is to just acquire more fucking folders! I can’t believe I literally wasted months not starting on this project because I cannot make the leap from lacking folders to buying more. If I want to organize the old stuff first before tackling the new stuff, but the new stuff is getting out of hand, then it’s okay to just organize the new stuff first and then incorporate the old stuff into it! Old stuff is not getting bigger by the day, after all. I talked to my husband about this and I was like, what would you say if I came to you with this problem? He was like, well, I have hoarder tendencies so the minute I realize stuff is spilling out existing containers my go-to solution is buy more containers instead of actually organizing or throwing stuff away. I was like that does not help in the long run and he’s like, well, yeah but the room you want cleaned will be clean. Anyway, had I asked him this months earlier, when I was first stuck, then his answer would’ve probably prompted my brain to think BUY MORE FOLDERS!! sooner and we won’t be in this mess now still.
So I went on Amazon today and bought some nice thick folders. There’s my weekend planned out – cleaning! Hopefully my brain doesn’t come up with new ways to derail me, but I have faith. Have to at this point. Christ.