Well, folks, it’s been a while. I had such high hopes for July but I guess I was not prepared of the toll the whole biopsy thing had taken on my body. The PIO injections were so painful! I basically have to slot in extra times in the day to exercise/massage so I can keep the pain controllable without taking too many painkillers. I know it eventually will be more manageable, but it definitely was not the first week after a whole year of rest. With all that physical baggage I basically copped out of writing the whole month. Isn’t that always the case, though? If it’s not this medical thing it’s something else. I just have very little will when it comes a lot of things and I’m not happy about that. So, new month, new beginnings, new resolutions.
One thing I did realize is that I need a central notebook, reminder list, something tangible, to keep my goals in sight. Like, I have to write something down (not just type out a blog) that is concretely related to my writing in order to keep motivated. If I don’t I literally lose track of where I am in my novel process and then nothing even gets planned, let alone get done. I’m not sure if this happens to other people normally or just people with ADHD or what. But yeah, out of sight, out of mind forever. (Could be a visual learner thing?) Anyway, luckily (unluckily for my wallet, but for me, yes) JetPens keep on stocking things I want so I bought more notebooks, and I’m going to use them as a ledger of sorts. Yesterday I used a very cheap notebook (new stuff hasn’t arrived yet) to start, and I wrote down in large, colorful bullets what I have done with my novel, and this morning I thought in detail about what I will accomplish with my novel today. Achievable, but concrete steps (so none of the “this character is going to do this thing somehow” or “I will brainstorm the third section of the plot”, but more like “move everything from this file to the new one” and “edit these five sentences, then these five paragraphs, etc.), and I’m going to keep this up every day. I will also find a suitable notebook to compile everything I’ve done by the week’s end, just so I can look at it and see, here’s step 1 – 10 you’ve done. Next week do step 11- 20. There will be 100 steps total. Get to it! I think this will actually keep me on track. I’m beginning to truly realize and embrace that I am a planner, a neurotically obsessed chronological planner, so the only way for me to work is do things like steps in a chemistry experiment, or follows a recipe, and not some nebulous concept that a more free-flow-thinking kind of person could just magically make do as work.
My plan for August is very work-focused. Since July fell through, I’m hoping this month I’ll really, really, really kick myself in gear. I’ll let you know mid-month how it’s going. Crossing my fingers that my fickle brain would actually work for real this time. Then I’d know I finally have an achievable schedule.