I went out shopping today for the first time in weeks. Now I did go for regular walks around my subdivision so I’ve been outside, but I haven’t actually been in a car going to a grocery store or anything like that. To minimize exposure it’s always my husband who goes out and do the shopping so it’s only one person out at a time. But now I need personal care things like razorblades and cotton balls, so I went out with him because he wouldn’t know the exact brands and stuff.
And boy it took forever! Sure, the roads are fairly empty since my state is under shelter-in-place orders, but there are just so many other things we have to do to prepare to go out. We both have to put on masks (not N95 ones, but a surgical mask is better than nothing), bring hand sanitizer, my husband somehow got a box of Clorox wipes and keeps that in the car to constantly wipe down everything. Then we get to the grocery store and had to wait outside in designated lines because the store’s pretty small, so they had to limit how many people could be in there at one time. We bought out about 2-3 weeks worth of food (frozen meat and non-perishables, mostly) and then went to Target for the daily use things (still no paper goods, but that’s probably because we went too late in the day). And when we get back we wipe everything down and wash our hands a lot and leave some non-food items in the bag to be put away 24-48 hours later. Under normal days a trip like that would take less than an hour (barring traffic, but the Target is literally 5-min drive from my house, and I mean that in LA-traffic speak which is like .1 miles or something). Took more than 2 today! And I’m so stressed from just general anxiety that I was exhausted when I finished everything and just lay on the bed for a while, listening to podcasts. I have zero motive to write anything. So I decided, well, might as well take the day off and take care of some other work/life related things, like figure out some refunds and plan out the rest of the week and the like.
I feel kind of guilty not working on my novel, but I’ve been steadily writing a lot these past couple of weeks, and I think one day of rest is good to have. I’ll just have to pick it back up tomorrow, when I don’t have to brave the outside world too much. You’d think quarantine wouldn’t stress out super introverts like me, but for some reason it’s making my anxiety worse. I guess it’s the whole sucky situation as a whole. I know we’ve been very careful but now I couldn’t help but wonder did this one trip give me or my husband coronavirus? I have asthma and he has horrible allergies and get upper respiratory system illnesses a lot, so yeah, if this hit us it’ll hit us hard, probably. Cross our fingers, I guess, and just try not to worry about it needlessly in the mean time. It’s much easier said than done.